Frequently Asked Question

Or: things I get asked before people buy a plate that says "Fuck Off"

Are all your pieces really one of a kind?

The china? Yes — always.

Every plate and vintage piece is completely one of a kind. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.

Mugs are a little different.

They’re made in small batches, so designs can repeat — but never in mass-produced quantities..

Can I request custom orders?

Absolutely! I offer custom designs on 6–7 inch plates. You choose the phrase (up to 5 words), and I’ll match it to something from my ever-growing stash of vintage china.
Want all the juicy details? Head to the Custom Orders page for the full lowdown.

Do you ship internationally?

Bloody yes we do — and she’s packed like a porcelain princess.

Swears of Joy ships internationally to:
🇬🇧 UK · 🇺🇸 USA · 🇨🇦 Canada · 🇦🇺 Australia · 🇳🇿 New Zealand

All international orders are fully tracked, packaged within an inch of their lives, and priced based on how much you spend — not how heavy your sass is (even though we both know it’s emotionally weighty).

UK Shipping:

• £4.95 — Orders up to £50.00 (Tracked 48)

• £6.50 — Orders over £50.01 or larger pieces (Tracked 48)

EU Countries

• £0–£16 → £11.95

• £16.01–£50 → £14.95

• Over £50 → £16.95

International Tracked Shipping:

• 1 item → £16.95

• 2–3 items → £22.95

• 4+ items → £34.95

Customs & Import Info (USA):

Orders under $800 are not subject to import duties, so you shouldn’t be charged any additional fees on delivery.

Don’t worry — I don’t fling your china in a paper envelope and hope for the best. Everything’s boxed, bubbled, and swaddled like its being adopted by royalty.

Can I hang them on the wall?

Yes! Some come with wall-hanger discs already attached. If not, they're easy to add, and I'll tell you how. Just ask.

Any other questions? Just shout - [contact me here]

Can I actually use the china for food or drinks?

Short answer: It depends what you’re holding.

China pieces (plates, trinkets, etc): No.

They’re for decorative use only — no tea, no toast, no microwaves, and definitely no dishwasher drama.

Each vintage piece is hand-altered using methods that aren’t food safe. They’re made to be admired, gifted, displayed… or used to terrify your in-laws in style.

Mugs: Yes.

All mugs are made from fine bone china and are safe for hot drinks. Dishwasher safe (though hand-washing will keep them looking their best.) And microwave safe.

How are the pieces actually made?

With time, swear words, and some incredibly clingy decals.

Each piece takes about 8 hours to make. The sweary design is printed, then sealed with multiple layers of acrylic lacquer before it even touches the china. Once dry, it’s cut by hand, soaked in warm water, and carefully slid onto cleaned vintage china (which is harder than it sounds when it's 30 degrees and you’re slightly feral).

After that, it gets a final coat of sealant on the china, and is left to dry and cure for 24 hours. No shortcuts. No mass production. Just one slightly unhinged human, one rescued plate, and one shot at getting it perfectly profane.

Mugs are made differently.
Each design is printed and heat-pressed onto fine bone china mugs in small batches, giving you the same Swears of Joy sass in a more functional, everyday piece.

Can I buy mugs online?

Yes — mugs are now available on the website.

There are multiple collections live, including Book Lovers, Unapologetic Filth, Boudoir Energy, and Seasonal Botanicals Sarcasm.

Not every design is online yet, but most are — with more being added over time.

If you’ve seen a mug at a market and can’t find it on the website, just message me.

Will you restock mugs?

Some designs will return, but many are made in small batches or as seasonal releases.

Once they’re gone, they’re gone — or at least gone for a while.

Do you take all mug designs to every market?

No. Designs vary depending on the event.

Some mugs are online-only, some are market-only, and some move between both.

Can I check what you’re bringing to a market?

Yes — just message me.