Custom Sass - Make it personal

Got something sweary, sassy, or sentimental in mind?

Whether it's an in-joke between friends, the perfect wedding gift, a favourite saying, or a phrase that's lived rent-free in your head for years, I'll create a one-of-a-kind vintage china plate that's made just for you.

You choose up to five words and one image idea, and I'll do the rest. Every commission starts with a genuine vintage plate and is designed from scratch to suit your idea.

Because no two stories are the same, no two custom plates are either.

Say What You Really Mean

Whether it’s a private joke, an insult in disguise, or a message designed to horrify the in-laws — I’m absolutely here for it.

Make It Personal

Fill out the form below with your idea, and I’ll get back to you with availability and a quote. Simple, sweary, sorted.

I only take on a handful each month, so if you’re planning a gift or occasion, don’t wait too long. Once they’re gone, they’re fucking gone.

Custom Orders

Looking for inspiration? Browse the Plate Cupboard to see the style of vintage china I work with, or get in touch to discuss your idea.

P.S. While I fully support your right to say “fuck” with flair, I don’t make anything hateful, cruel, or discriminatory.
There’s a difference between cheeky and shitty — and I know where the line is.
(Unless you’re a Karen. Then all bets are off. Kidding. Mostly.)